Sorry if I got your hopes up by writing that as my title, as if I am a master at understanding how to help. The real problem is that I don't think there exist any masters at this tender subject. It's very hard to help people. Everyone is different, after all. There is no one single way to help.
For example, I like when people post pictures of themselves holding up inspirational quotes on slips of paper and smiling. That makes me happy. But at the same time, I know there are a lot of people who think that's a stupid hipster thing to do. So it's hard to get your message out to everyone if you're doing it on cute pieces of paper.
The best method I can think of right now is talking openly, and that's not going to work for everyone either. People have a lot of trouble speaking openly, especially shy people -- the very ones I am trying to reach. Even if you read a blog post or essay or book by someone who is trying their best to speak to you from their heart, even if they say "please talk to me, I want to help you and everyone like you," it might still feel next-to-impossible to reach back out to them.
How do you open up conversation with someone whose entire problem is their inability to have conversations? I don't know. I think what needs to happen first is that you need to be able to wear your heart on your sleeve and convince people that you are speaking entirely truthfully. Everyone, not just shygirls, has trouble believing that other people want to help them 100%. We are all a little bit skeptical.
But I do want to help with my entire heart. I want everyone to feel strong and loved and beautiful. I want everyone to believe in the goodness of people like I do.
I also want to say that while I don't know everything, I want to help. I think that everyone can help, too. Even if someone has an issue you aren't very sure about, saying to them, "I don't understand how you feel about this, but I am willing to listen while you explain it to me," seems like the best thing to me. There are also issues that you may never understand. I have heard that I, as a white girl, will never be able to truly understand how it feels to be a person of color.
And that's okay. I also think there are people who will never truly understand what it is like to be shy or depressed.
That's not meant to be a barrier between any of us. It's meant to be a bridge. We will never understand everyone about each other, but we can use our own experiences to help us with other people's experiences.
love, shygirl
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